You’ve Got a Friend | Sunday Message

Hey there Victor, listening to the Greg Laurie part just a ministry supported by harvest partners on Greg Laurie encouraging you if you want to find out more about harvest ministries. To learn more about how to become a harvest partner, just go to harvest.org hello harvest Riverside and all of you watching the harvest online is well glad to see her church, or a brand-new series with the title am I doing this right so him talk about a lot of things together, including singleness and marriage and parenting and much more. The title of my message out for you right now is you got a friend. Some of you might remember that song you look at first Samuel 18, in John chapter 50 the look I don't know about you but I am not a mechanical person. How many of you are good at fixing things, raise your hand up. I admire you admire.

I wish I could do would you do I make things worse. I admire some of that could pull up the hood of the car get in there and fix the engine or frame this thing until this thing I like to go to hardware stores and walk around and look at all the cool stuff and I think I want to get that power tool to take it home, but any time I walk into the house with a hammer, even if screwdriver my wife is alarmed because she knows whatever I'm going to fix is only going to be worse.

Case in point years ago where having a workday at our church up in Riverside right after we moved in. That was her building as it looked. Here I am out working but taking time to pose for a photograph as well when I actually had some hair and also there was a heads it needed to be trimmed and I saw a hedge trimmer. It plugged in, so I picked it up and fired it up and I trim in the head. This is fun I like this and I kept trimming and didn't notice until I got to the court that suddenly stopped. Okay so what I did is I look to the writer look to the left.

I set it down and I walked away never admitted it, like 20 years later, maybe longer. A friend of my chemo. Said I saw what you did and then that there was up on the roof and he told it publicly. In the sermon and humiliated me so I might as will own it but you know things like that aren't that important, but some things really are important. Doing things right will remember that tragic day in American history on January 28, 1986 when the Challenger space shuttle blew what made this even more horrific was the first schoolteacher in space was on board so thousands of little children were watching in their classrooms. Is this horrible event unfolded for them in real time. So of course afterwards are trying to figure out what went wrong, why didChallenger blow up midair and they discovered the result or they discovered the problem was a failure of two rubber O-ring little rubber rings that seal in the fuel tanks.

It was a failure. There is something as magnificent as the space shuttle was brought down, reminding us details matter doing things right that matters. You need to do some things exactly right so this new series. By doing this right is about relationship. Some are good to go back to God's original plan for relationship.

He is the one who created us. He is the one who created marriage and family and all the great things that we built this nation on you know it's been said that a family can survive without a nation the nation cannot survive without the family and as we moved away from God's original design will repeat were were reaping the results of it because you can almost take every social ill in America today and specifically trace it back to the breakdown of the family. Look at people who are incarcerated with issues with drug addiction who get girls to get pregnant outside of wedlock. The list just goes on. Whatever it is almost always be traced to the breakdown of the home they come from broken families, so we need to go back to God's original design because God loves the family are all a part of a family in some way shape or form made Laura mom or a dad or a son or a daughter, a brother or sister were in a family and God wants to bless the family but before we get into them will talk about singleness, Jonathan will be speaking on that next Sunday and marriage and parenting. I wanted to start by giving you a message about friendship, friendship because we all have friends in some way shape or form what we need friendship because there is an epidemic of loneliness that is sweeping our nation social media. It is not made us more sociable. It's made us less sociable and more dysfunctional civic we don't even know how to have a conversation with each other anymore. I read that millennial's preferred texting over talking in person and I think we forgotten how to interact with one another, and research reveals that three out of every five Americans feel lonely. One source says quote experts have long known that loneliness and isolation have long reaching effects on the mind and the body, ranging from anxiety and depression to vulnerability to illness."

Yet they have found one or two friendships can dramatically decrease loneliness read one article on the box. New site that headline why friendships are different than any other relationship that we have and they stated 12% of Americans have no close friendships, compared with 3% 1990. They concluded we� As a society have atomized. In other words, were working shipping and socializing on line in our phone to become the primary portal through which we view the outside world. Wow, that's not good.

Imagine if everyone behaved in real life like they behaved on twitter. People would be yelling at each other on the street for no good reason, but this is the problem today and we see that were missing something because, listen, we all need to have living, breathing, friend Donovan not anonymous people. You play video games with across the planet, not people who comment on your post.

We need human interaction. God created you. This way you're not meant to do life alone. That is why this social experiment of shutting everything down, not only in our nation but around the world is been such a massive failure in its created so many problems with our children missing so much of their schooling shut down schools and parks and beaches and even churches. None of this was necessary and I made an existing problem even worse. We need each other. We need to talk together. This is the way God made us back to the book of Genesis we read after God made all these amazing things.

He said it is good.

It's good this is good. Then he said this is a good not good is the aloneness of man, God said so we created eat now. Certainly Adam was fulfilled in his marriage with Eve, but I think it's a principle that's true of relationships in general. It's not good for us to be alone, so we need friends but one is a friend. How can we tell a friend from a frenemy who are our real friends. That's a question that needs to be answered. Heard about two friends that went out camping in the woods. There were getting them for their morning cup of coffee they heard a rustling in the bushes. They looked over and saw a very large grizzly bear running at them at full speed. One of the friends quickly started pulling on his running shoes, his buddy said what you doing you don't think you can out run the grizzly do you. He says I don't need to. I just need to out run you that's all. Some called friends how some so-called friends are. They run out at the first sign of things getting hard.

It's been said a friend is one that walks in when others walked out.

Are you a friend like that to someone or do you have a friend like that of friendship is made up of two people committing themselves one to another, it can only exist where there is a response it needs to be reciprocal, and a true friend can open his heart to another friend in a classic example of friendship is found in the story of David and Jonathan first Samuel 18 of verses 1 to 3 describes it after David finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan the king son. There was an immediate bond between them for Jonathan. Love, David and Jonathan made a solemn pact with David because he loved him as he loved himself that a great verse.

There is no closer friendship in the Bible than that of David and Jonathan and would appear they were David the unknown shepherd boy from the country friends with Jonathan, the son of King Saul, the Prince so royalty and a common man and I love how their verse says that Jonathan loved David as he loved himself, you know, sometimes were told, you need to learn to love yourself. The Bible teaches that we should love ourselves. Actually, it doesn't. The Bible assumes that you already love your self. That's why the Bible says Jesus, "love your neighbor as you what love yourself is this impure love yourself you know you love yourself.

Don't tell me you don't love yourself when there's a group picture taken of you and a bunch of friends who do you look for first look for yourself.

Don't post that I look fat. At least let me do some Photoshop on it.

Yeah right you love yourself I love myself.

We love our selves, but Jonathan loved David as he loved him self and one in the unlikely pair.

They were in remind you, Billy Graham and the Queen the Queen of England. Queen Elizabeth just died and she had a 70 year range. She ascended to the throne at the age of 25 she was the daughter of King George and he died sooner than expected. And suddenly this young woman was the Queen of England, but she had a very deep faith in Christ.

And when Billy came to England to preach thousands of people were coming to Christ and it came to the attention of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip took Billy was invited to the palace and we met them and that resulted in a lifelong friendship he preached in her private little chapel over 20 times and they visited many times people wanted to know what what the Queen revealed to Billy and he said I it's not really appropriate for me to talk about her except to say that she was a woman of rare modesty and character. The Queen herself spoke of her own faith. Instead I rely on my faith to guide me through good times and for bad. Billy made a commitment to pray for the Queen every single day of his life and he honored that so the Queen now has gone to lay her crown before the King of Kings and the King of Queens and the Lord of lords. But what an interesting friendship that was in Jonathan and David was similar, and there was a royal person and a common person but yet God had called David to become the king, even though Jonathan was the rightful heir.

He was next in line right after Saul, the province ammo comes along and says David is the next king of Israel. Instead of undermining David and opposing David Jonathan supported him and that shows true friendship. So if you're taking no tears point number one we need godly friendships.

We need godly friendships and the first stage of your life, your shade mostly by your family and the second stage of the rest of your life.

Your shaped largely by your friend, you become most like the people you spend time with. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future friends will influence you for better or for worse, will either bring you up other take you down. Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others bring joy whenever they go. Which one are you are you Bobby buzz killer Debbie downer are you the one that lights up a room or turn the lights off. Are you the one that builds others up or you're always dragging them down.

The Bible says in Proverbs 1824. There are friends that destroy each other.

But a real friend asked closer, then a brother Proverbs 2220 forces don't befriend angry people for associate with hot tempered people. That's why godly friendships are so important. There's an old saying, quote here, that man who fears not God. It's also been said, he is your friend that pushes you closer to God. He is your friend that pushes you closer to God. Let me turn that around.

He is not your friend that pulls you away from God on someone.

It says happy is the man that does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly year stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in God's word and in it he meditates day and night. But notice he doesn't let ungodly people.

Influence of not having said that, you do need help, friendships with nonbelievers. I have some friends that are not Christians and I maintain these friendship friendships with them over the years and my hope and goal is to move them toward Christ, and we want to influence them but your close friends, the ones you can find it. The ones that you spend the most time with, should be godly people find it godly friend and be the godly friend for someone else but if your friend is no relationship with God, and there dragging your you down. It may be time to part company. Abraham had this problem with his nephew Lot lots was a spiritual drag. So much so that one day uncle Abraham said to his nephew Buddy when we get a part company.

You go your way, and although mind sorority want to go pick Jenny area, the land that you want and you can have it.

Lots looking over at Sonnen with them or any state in the I want to go live there because they say what happens in Sonnen stays in Sonnen really about that was Vegas letter no now want that life okay that's your choice. And Abraham went in the opposite direction and sometimes we have the part company with friends for our own spiritual survival. First Corinthians 1533 says don't be misled. Bad company corrupts good character. Second Timothy 222 Paul says flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith and love and peace, along with those that call on the Lord out of a pure heart run with godly people that will encourage you that will build you up because friends really matter because we influence them than they influence us. David had a friend like that in Jonathan now you are single. Keep this in mind when you're looking for a potential mate look for a godly girl look for a man that loves the Lord and periodically evaluate their relationship and ask yourself the question, this relationship building me up or as it turned me down. Is this person the wing or away in the race of life. First Thessalonians 511 says encourage each other and build each other up and really matters what we say to each other read about a team of researchers in the Netherlands it did in intense study of people's brains and here's their conclusion verbal insults hurt, they determine insults linger longer than praise our compliments do I have a two-part response number one number two I think researchers in the Netherlands have too much time in their hands, but I think we all know that right here complement all think you put that insult who stays with you look a little chunky in those jeans are too cool but 20 years later you still remember it may be something teacher said to you. Maybe something someone else said here you carry it with you that insult lingers.

That's what we want to build each other up number two. True friends support each other through thickened true friends support each other through thick and thin, their consistent. Proverbs 1717 says a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born from time of adversity. A friend can help you through hard times.

Galatians 62 says bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. You know, because a real friend will listen to you. You can open your heart to them, they won't jump down your throat or start judging you try to hear what you have to say and try to help you bear that burden. James 110 says hey.

Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry sometimes or the opposite were slow to listen and quick to get angry but true friends can share their burdens with one another.

Ecclesiastes 49 says two people are better off than one, they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

I titled this message. You've got a friend at the title of a song written by Carol King and in the lyrics. She sings you just call out my name and you know wherever and I'll come running to see you again, winter, spring, summer, fall, all you gotta do is call and I'll be there this I will you've got a friend. If you've got a friend like that, that's cool treasure that person and try to be that friend for someone else because a true friend can suffer with you. The Bible says and weep with those that week and you know after our son went to be with the Lord. I had friends that you spend time with me and honestly, I didn't need a sermon I did need someone to try to explain it to me. There was no explanation, but I had friends that were just there and just loving and prayed for me and maybe brought me a meal and have them battered so much just to be there at a time of need.

So weep with those that weep and maybe you have a friend who calls and says all man.

My boyfriend just broke up with me your only just got fired from my job or or you know, I just got bad news from a doctor all man, I'm so sorry, but the Bible doesn't say weep with those a week. It says rejoice with those that rejoice. So the same friend called you back the next day and they say just what I just won the lottery. I have $100 million, or they say oh hey I just found a new boyfriend. As a matter of fact it's your boyfriend so way what it says weep with those that we guy got that rejoice with those that rejoice in the not so easy. Not so easy because we might think.

Well, that should have happened to me. Well, back to David and Jonathan they had this friendship for Jonathan did honestly rejoice over the success of David to Maisie number three true friends tell each other the truth. True friends tell each other the truth. How do you know the difference between an acquaintance and a friend friends of the one to call on the phone and tell them what jerk going through you share my joy with them.

You share of burden with them, you let them into your life. Proverbs 2710 says the heartfelt counsel of a friend is a sweet as perfume and a true friend will tell you what's up you can bounce things off of them insert red zone, so it's great. It's great many of other friends go that's lame. Don't do that. If you have a new outfit this my new outfit to wear your princess the way down to it he looks so stupid outfit. Thank you, thank you for telling me that because true friend will tell you the truth. Proverbs 27 sixes faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful open rebuke is better than secret love. Think about this faithful are the wounds of a friend just it just means they tell you the truth. As Oscar Wilde once said, a true friend stabs you in the front seat on the back and the front of frenemy, a so-called friend or someone you thought was a friend.

The stab you in the back.

A true friend will tell you right to your face because, listen sometimes friendships fracture. Sometimes problems develop.

That brings me to point number four true friends resolve their conflicts in them an update that point to Fred's attempt to resolve their conflicts because some conflicts can be resolved. Some people cannot be reconciled with interest in what I'm saying. This is why the Bible says as much as it is possible, live at peace with all men. Aren't you glad the Bible says, as much as it is possible that certain people that may with a little fracture in our friendship.

I reach out to them. No response. Nothing.

They just don't want to be reconciled with I don't know what to do with that person. I pray for them. Don't be that person. Because sometimes we hear something about someone and we'll talk about them instead of talking to them. Okay so case in point in the book of acts, and we looked at this nurseries and actually look at the story of Paul and Barnabas. They wanted a missionary journey. By the way, Barnabas was not the real name given to him it was his nickname because it means the son of encouragement.

We might update it to Mr. encouragement that was Barnabas always encouraging other people so Barnabas all potential and saw the former Christian killer took him under his wing introduced him to other leaders in the church said this guys legit.

I'm vouching for them. Then they one in the missionary journey and Barnabas could see the cottage really gifted Paul effect, Paul was a former gifted orator. Then he was. So instead of undermining him. He supported him.

He thought this is great this is a guy everyone needs to be hearing and I think this is an amazing little point because sometimes NB can creep into French. See, as long as you're both kind of on the same level.

It's okay right, then maybe one jumps ahead. One has something happened in their life work there catapulted beyond where you were before. And then you find yourself resenting it, you know, we don't necessarily envy those we perceive is greater than us. I don't know if you sit around and say I resent the fact that Elon musk has so much money. I wish I could buy Twitter or biotin change my mind.

I don't know.

Whatever is going I wish I could do that. Why can I play guitar like Eric Clapton you don't think things like that because you don't think of those people as equals in the Springs up among people we see is a peer. Aristotle said and he said this to me personally. Aristotle said, quote envy grows naturally in a relationship between equals."

Envy has been described as a small town sin. It breeds on proximity.

So the way it works is were both on the same level, more or less. Maybe in friendship for and how much money we make Karen our position, nor in ministry or whatever it might be in and all of a sudden one just jump say hello. I resent that that's not right. And we find ourselves undermining that person. Why about Jonathan again. He supported David as God began to lift him up he rejoice with those that rejoice heard the story of a crab fisherman going to crab put them in this pale had no lid on it.

Someone said one or two of the lid on your little pale that the crabs can get out. He says all that's no problem. The moment the first crab tries to escape the others reach up and pull them down. That happens in life doesn't others he used at there's no way I should be doing that instead of you and also Paul and Barnabas had this conflict in the conflict was over, the nephew of Barnabas who was named John Mark. They took him on the missionary trip and then John Mark bailed in the middle of the trip. So when they went on the second missionary journey Barnabas Mr. encouragement run wanted to bring his nephew Jenna. Paul's response was no way, no you are not bringing him on this trip so they had a conflict with horrible men and women of God should never of a conflict all. Actually, they should because we have to learn how to resolve our conflicts because are going to have disagreements, even godly people can disagree at time think about this. Paul says I went to Peter and confronted him to his face will that's like Godzilla and Rodin fighting while the battle of the titans, who do you root for that argument. I don't know.

It's like watching your parents by know that that's all. But Paul actually to be technical was in the right in that argument as he was in the case of Barnabas they talk to each other. This is the thing when you're the conflict. You don't talk about the person you talk to the person in first of all, find out your information is right on so many occasions I've heard things spread about people that are not true. So the entire argument is based on a false assumption that they had merely gone to the person and ask them they would realize it's not as they thought, but they say what the Bible says of summons overtaken in a fault you were spiritual should kick them while they're down, spread it on social media know it doesn't say that says of a brother or sister is overtaken in a fault you were spiritual should seek to restore them.

Matthew 1815, Jesus says of another believer sins against you listen, go privately and point out the offense of the other person listens and confesses you one that person and listen, you can have conflict in marriage will get into this later we can have arguments I've told you before, don't tell me your hat you have irreconcilable differences in your marriage. I've had irreconcilable differences with my wife for almost 50 years but are they really irreconcilable were just different right. We have to work through these things. I've had couples come up to me and say we want to get married would you perform our wedding. Also Hong to be known each other 06 months then I'll ask of you had an argument yet own no that they look at each other all lovey-dovey. We don't ever argue policy get out the way don't have a fight I don't need a physical fight go the conflict learn how to resolve it because if you don't, you can have a tough time in your marriage right married people in my right on this. You don't I'm talking about. Listen to this. Most marriages fall apart because of selfishness instead of selflessness and selfishness. I was in the store yesterday and guy comes up to me and says my daughter is marrying this guy is wondering if you pray for them and they bring this little couple over to me and this guy looked really young.

I said hope you guys like 15 or something says I'm 21. Okay and that I asked his fianc�e, holding you, she said 18 is that that was the age Kathy was and I was a we got married so I I prayed for them in one of the things I prayed as Lord help them to be selfless instead of selfish because you go to the marriage saying I want to make this girl the happiest girl that ever lived, and I hope this guy realize all of his dreams and then reality starts kicking in. And in the conflicts kick in. I read that of 86% of people that were divorce.

He said the reason was deficient communication deficient communication. They stop talking to each other they start talking past each other.

So when you're humming a conflict learn to listen. Proverbs 1813 says only a full answers a matter before he's heard it.

Now I know you think your friend or your mate is wrong and maybe they are and maybe they aren't, or maybe they have a few good points and you of a few good points and the sun is black and why did you think it is so just for a moment, shut up and listen. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger can images here and don't interrupt them, don't talk over them to. You tell me what the issue is tell me what your concerns are and then respond. Don't use phrases like you know you always try you always you start escalating in the boys the start getting louder you start insulting them.

Sometimes the best thing you can do when a conflict is starting this walk away for a little bit of time you need to listen to this people never fight in front of your kids hear what I'm saying don't do that. I live with them for 17 years and I know how it impacted me as a young boy and when I'm talking fight I'm not just saying disagreements I'm talking about screaming, yelling, shooting, throwing things in more and so don't do that that's traumatizes children don't ever ask your child to choose between mom and mom or dad know you're both idiot stop done as a child to make an evaluation.

What's wrong with you but learn to resolve it. If you can try to find a resolution. Ephesians 426 says don't let the sun go down on your anger, so don't go to sleep mad at each other. Listen to this fight to resolve not to win fight to resolve not to win. If you go in it to win you lose even if you win someone summed it up this way the first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest the first to forget is the happiest I like that so maybe you're having a conflict with your spouse, your parents, your kids, your friend here. Something you might try out say these words. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

I love you and you might add, it was my fault.

Your reaction is right really can you say that coming back to Paul and Barnabas. They did reconcile eventually and in fact, Paul wrote to Timothy about Margaret deserted them in the first missionary journey to take it Mark bring them to me because these helpful to me in my ministry. I love that take effect get over here love that kid, C, D, E, let it go. There's a come upon you this letter go just as politico. I'm sorry. Forgive me. Come on, let's move forward.

Can you do that one last point, Jesus is the perfect friend by PS Jesus is the perfect friend John 1515 Jesus says I no longer call you slaves because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. You are my friends because I told you everything the father has told me, what Jesus is my friend, Jesus is your friend. He reveals secrets he that's what a friend can do I can tell you a secret and you keep my secret. You can tell a secret to Jesus, by the way he knows already so just tell he knows that but it Lord disses someone at CDU. This is something I struggle with this is something that's hard for me to call upon But he will reveal his secrets to you. The Bible says the secret of the Lord is with those that fear him to reveal things to you from his word that other people don't know nonbelievers who maybe are the most educated people you've ever met with degrees hanging on the wall. They don't know what you know because you of a friendship with God and God is revealed things to you because you are his child, but you are also his friend the listener.

This is a caveat here forget to call Jesus, our friend, there are some responsibilities that go with that relationship. Jesus said in John 1514 you are my friends if you do what I command you are my friends if you do what I command. So if you're really a friend of God, you will obey him continually. Now that doesn't mean you're perfect because you're going to trip up. You're going to fall you going to fail. Okay, we know that means. Well, I failed phenomena get up in and recommit myself to the Lord again. It's sort of like getting married is the I do on your wedding day, but then you say I do for every day and week and month that follows again and again in again.

You honor that commitment.

And in the same way you come to the Lord each and every day and say Lord I fall short. I need your help.

Fill me with your Holy Spirit. But I want to be your friend and do what you command me. You are my friends. Jesus says if you do what ever I command you did not say you are my friends if you do whatever you agree with.

Sometimes people say well I don't agree with this verse in the Bible interesting. You're wrong you are well. I just don't know in this multicultural would shut up your own Bible doesn't change. We don't want to adapt the Bible to our culture.

We need to adapt our culture to the Bible. See that's the problem. You are my friends if you do what several whatsoever I command you are you doesn't say you are my friends if you do whatever you find easy whatever you're comfortable with. Look, I'll be honest with you. There are things in the Bible. I'm not comfortable with. I'm not comfortable with loving enemies on the comfortable with turning the other cheek. I'm not comfortable with some things. God tells me to do. But this is what the plan says that's a standard we are to seek to live by.

You are my friend says Jesus EV do what ever I command you to have this friendship with God.

God longs for this friendship with you. He wants to be your friend wanted an offer, but as I said earlier that can only be a friendship when there is give-and-take when we reciprocate and say yes I want that friendship with you, Lord, I want to walk with you and know you in a personal way that can happen for each and every one of us. Jesus has proven this friendship because he said, greater love has no man than this, and he laid down his life for his friend Jesus laid his life down for you on the cross. 2000 years ago. The Bible says while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Doesn't say what we were yet Christians while we were yet friend snow while we are sinners only were the enemies of God. He laid his life down the Old Testament demonstration of friendship and sacrifice for each and every one of us.

And if you want this friendship with God. You reach out and you take it you receive it you accept it. Jesus stands at the door of your life in the Knox and if you hear his voice and open the door to come in.

You need to take that step balance it Lord come in the my life and forgive me of my sin. I want this relationship with you and as we close down prayer, to give you an opportunity to begin your friendship with God. Let's pray father I pray for every person here every person watching wherever they are.

If they don't know you yet, let them come in this relationship with you right here right now. No will or heads are valid and her eyes are closed on a prayer. Prayer for someone that wants to come into a relationship with Jesus to pray but I would ask that we all pray it together wherever you are.

You pray this prayer to pray these words after me, Lord Jesus, I want to be your friend.

But I ask you to forgive me of my sent thank you for dying on the cross for my sin and demonstrating your friendship toward me. I repent of my sin and I choose to follow you from this moment forward. Thank you for hearing this prayer and answering it in Jesus name I pray. Everybody thinks or listening to this podcast to learn more about harvest ministries follow the show and consider supporting it.

Just go to harvest.org and find out how to know God personally go to harvest.org and click on know God