Marriage 101: Keeping the Fire Alive

We're glad you're joining us for a new beginning with Greg Laurie, a podcast supported by harvest partners get more encouraging audio content. When you subscribe to pastor Greg daily defenses. Learn more and sign up@harvest.org one Barnes allows a long time from a series home sweet home today on a new beginning for Greg Laurie Halverson road on their road to someone being there at 125 65. Given attention to that marriage month wedding chance really exhausted and when a specialty is finally behind. Sometimes we discovered that the real, how can couples keep the fire alive and retain that love that brought them together in the first place some answers. Greg Laurie offers a message back to the basics of God's plan.

Marriage 101 will ever live. Also, one of the most miserable man that ever lived.

You made the statement and I quote I would give my entire fortune for one copy marriage one happy marriage is that even possible in our culture today. The divorce rate is around 50% or less, but that arises when you get to the second marriage, or close to 60% then you go to 1/3 marriage goes up to 73%. So you wonder is it even possible. I'll tell you what I told you this before but my mother was buried in the 475 so I kinda know a little bit about divorce. I'd not been divorced, but I've seen it up close and personal. I know about the devastation of divorce and I want to do everything I can to encourage you when that day comes, if you're single and you get married to honor that commitment for a lifetime to keep your eyes wide open before marriage and then outshot afterwards okay to know what you're getting yourself into. Think sometimes we think marriage should be like a fairytale and they lived happily ever after. Well doesn't always work out that way but I do believe you can live happily even after not ever offer even after if you do it God's way and you can have a happy and a blessed marriage. Listen to this. A study was done on the people were very happy in their marriage, 61 to 62%. We don't hear that step. We hear the divorce that, but 61 to 62% of people who are married say they're very happy in their marriage. I guess God knew what he was doing when he created marriage but in its also fulfilling emotionally. Research has shown that married people live longer than the unmarried. They go to doctors less and make less use of other healthcare services and I think it's because you have somebody to help you in life you know when something great happens to me.

The first thing I do is I call the gardener until it no I don't call the gardener I call my wife right the first thing that I doing something a challenge comes I call my wife.

What should we do, how should we handle this. We do this together but having said that, I don't want to imply that God cannot bless you as a single person.

I think in some ways, you need to be a happy single person because before you can be a happy married person because if you think that a guy girls is going to meet all the needs of your life and he's going to come riding up with his white horse argue they got girls going to come running down the beach toward you, of course, in slow motion. Right slow motion as the sun setting in the beautiful music of swelling in their gonna rescue you. Well, you get to be surprised. I guess they can do a lot for you but ultimately what we really long for more than anything else is a relationship with God. So we need that to be first, and then having found the relationship with God. We need to find contentment in the place that were at the singleness or marriage. The apostle Paul said, I have fun whatever state I'm in there and to be content.

So we have to get first things first, let me just say a few words to single so you don't feel left out. As you're looking around.

Here's what you need to look for. Look for a godly person start their now let me take it a step further.

Look for someone who's even more godly than you more godly than you are so fine contentment in your singleness before you go and try to find contentment as a married person but let me say this, there is a certain flexibility in being a single give you a little homework assignment to look up later. First Corinthians 732 to 35. Paul talks about the mobility of a single session on unmarried man I can spend his time doing the Lords work, thinking about how to please him. But a married man can do that yes to think of how to please his wife. That's not a criticism when you're married, you have to think about your wife you want to think about your husband.

Then when you become. You have to think about your kids, you can't just run off and do whatever you want but when you're single you all the mobility to maybe two things, a married person could never do so if you're in that moment of singleness in your life. Embrace the moment be the godliness version of you that you can be serve the Lord to get free time you have and use it for his glory and I just but the Lord will just drop that person in your life.

Alright, so it's a good Ephesians now and this is a few words to married people for this reason a man will leave his father and mother, and in verse 31 be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and his church.

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself, and see that the wife respects her husband.

So will stop right there and this is Paul talking about what happened in the book of Genesis, a husband and wife coming together leaving and cleaving just imagine for a moment what it would've been like to live in the Garden of Eden. I think sometimes we think of the Garden of Eden as is a place it's not real like Camelot toward Neverland or Atlanta, but the gardener beat was a real place in which God placed real people and they were brought together. It surpassed all the beautiful places on the planet today and Adam was all alone and he gave names to all the animals but there was something missing and in fact it was someone who was missing and it was the Civil War got the deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he woke up there was Eve says this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. He shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man. So that is what is being talked about here.

It's interesting in Genesis 218 God says it's not good that man should be alone, so all make a helper comparable to him in a better way to translate that would be who assists another to reach fulfillment even another translation would say someone who comes to rescue another Eve came to rescue Adam from his loneliness and then Adam said, this is good for others to operative words write these words down. If you would please to operative words must constantly be in play for a marriage to be vibrant and successful and those words are leave and clean leave and clean verse five. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and cleaving to his wife. The word Cleve means to glue or to cling so it's leave and clean.

So what does that mean that means that first you leave father and mother, someone center question. In a few moments ago I was reading over some of my said you know what sucks about him and his wife are our in-laws want to move in and live with us. You think that's a good idea.

No, I don't actually let me tell you why. Now there was extenuating circumstances and they needed a roof over their head. Don't turn mom and dad away, but make it a temporary situation because of your parents living your house when you're married couple. This could create tension. The rest of you leaving and I means a redefinition of all relationships. A son is still a son to his mom and dad, a daughter is still a daughter but when she marries a man a new home is started a new family is begun in our primary responsibility is to her husband's primary responsibility is to the wife. That's why God says for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and by the way, that means that your wife, your husband should be your best friend, Mary, your best friends sometimes and you're single, you know. Just sex nonstop sex W sex but marriage is a whole lot more than that is companionship.

It's friendship. It's communication.

It's up partner for life. That includes sex as an expression of that love and oneness in all that it entails but you have to understand it's more than just sexual contact, so you have to make a break.

I heard about a guy that I wanted to get married in the worst way. So he brought home a young lady to meet his mom that he thought had potential and mother didn't like her and he went out front. Another girl brought her home to meet mom that he thought he might, Mary mother didn't like her either.

So then he found a girl that look like his mother dressed like his mother even talk like his mother. The promises dad didn't like her so okay so it's leaving and cleaving you leave that person Greg Morey will have the second half of his message just a moment. We love when we hear from our listeners like this woman who tweeted a comment to us. I really enjoy your daily devotion whenever I'm settled with work life and staff your emails. The one thing that connects me back to the Lord, even if it's only five minutes most precious five minutes 19 thank you were grateful to hear Pastor Greg daily devotionals or touching lives. If you like to send a note to us email Pastor Greg greg@harvest.org doing today would you again that's great@harvest.org will today. Pastor Greg is offering some very practical biblical marriage advice and his message. Marriage 101. He continues now here's another interesting passage were told over and first Peter three husband dwell with your wives according to understanding give honor to her as to the weaker vessel as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers will not be gender so okay well I got that covered him little what they're pretty much the here that none of the word well with her means to be aligned to her and it also means to give maintenance to her and this is for her to him to.

So if you have a car you driving on the car in the little red light goes off wrong, I should say known as the idiot like better pay attention to. I actually had a vehicle that idiot light went off and I didn't pay attention and I didn't put oil in the vehicle and it was a major problem later, so pay attention you might need gas you might need oil you might need something else that needs to go in for some kind of repair or whatever it is so those lights go up. You give maintenance if you want a card to last a long time. Give maintenance to. When you see a beautiful classic car cruising down the road. That's because someone is maintained.

It and when you see a marriage cruising through life that's lasted 2535 4555 65 years. That's because a given attention to that marriage but some people when they see the first video like glac�. I'm not here I'm really engage in a conscious uncoupling in a lovingly separate out whatever soon I can honor that commitment that you made to leave. But it's also please note all think of Cleve as separating something that something coming together because the word Cleve means to adhere to or to stick or to be attached by some strong time. That doesn't mean you're stuck together and major holding on to one another big difference. See Yvonne climbing up the side of a rock. I'm holding on why because I want to live. That's why so in marriages, nudging our stuff together. Whatever know someone said in a question I read in the back room. Should we stay together for the kids that you would expect me to say no. I'll tell you my answer absolutely, but I've a better reason stay together because God told you to stay together. Number one, that's a reason number two yeah kids is good reason number three. Your emotions will catch up with your commitment and time because in marriage you feel a lot of love at first and then it ebbs and flows ended up as an up close and the changes in you change and they change in life changes, but your honoring that commitment and then the love comes back emotionally stronger than it's ever been there.

They don't feel it a day here or day there. Whatever point is you keep that commitment throughout your life. So just just stay together.

By the way, you can almost take every social ill in culture today and trace it right back to a broken home. I was reading a couple of articles the other day about sex trafficking how young girls get pulled in this lifestyle, and sometimes people will fall you one social media so careful who you let fall you and they'll look for weaknesses in your life or you talk about during happier your lonely and then will start praying on you.

They might make contact with you in some way instant message you can't like to talk with you and then what is happened to some of these young girls is these guys will grab many of them are underage and get them drunk or high in and then the have sex with them and them the take pictures of them and say now I'm gonna blackmail you with these photos and if you don't do what I tell you to do next. Some of the send these to your parents and put them on the Internet so the girls are caught into this vortex to become a sexual slave to some kid who's pimping them out to incredible. But as you look at these girls in every instance of these girls that fell prey to this lifestyle. They came from a broken home. Should we stay together for the sake of the kids. Yeah, that's a pretty good reason. Stay together for life. The kids matter because these decisions you make have ramifications for generations to come. But in closing stay together because God called you together and he'll give you the strength to be the man to be the woman to be the husband to be the wife is called to so much more I could say but will leave it at that. But let me just end with this thought and when a preacher says the thought. It could be a 30 minutes.

There may be a two minute thought will see. But of all the pictures that God could have chosen to show his love for the world of all of the pictures that God could have chosen to show how much his church loves him. He chose marriage. How do we know that because he says of the husband. Husbands, love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for he said to the wives, wives, submit to your husband respect her husband. So basically here's what the Lord is a K planet Earth. You want to know how much I love my people check out the way that Christian husband loves his wife. That's what it's like, hey, people you want to know how much my church was me see that wife over there married to that guy. Look at the way she loves him. That's how much my church loves me. What a beautiful picture. Why are we Christians right now. The Bible says we love him because what he first loved us.

Very good by the way he first loved us. My love for God is a response to God's love for me despite my sinfulness and wickedness and shortcomings in all the horrible things that you and I have done.

God love me in his love won me over. I love that song that we sing the reckless love some people free curriculum slow voting and reckless to just chill okay. The point of it is that God loves you so much. He left his comfort zone to reach you. What you think the story of the prodigal son is all about the story of a father who ran to his wayward son.

By the way, and that culture was considered undignified for older men to run.

Not to mention that it's harder for an older man to run. I know this from experience, but this is a story that Jesus told to show you what God is like, and Jesus effectively said God is like a father willing to lose his dignity if you will to get to his wayward son or daughter. And forgive them we might call that reckless God calls that passion and he loves you. There might be some of you that have joined us, and most of you have the lease physically. So for this guy that just fell asleep and I want to see this in closing, maybe you don't know if Christ is living inside of you. You're not sure if your sin is forgiven might be single. You might be married.

You might be young, you might be old it might be a guy you might be a girl.

Everybody needs Jesus. He died on the cross for you.

He shed his blood for you and he rose again from the dead and now he stands at the door of your life in the Knox and says if you'll hear his voice and open the door he will come. If you've never asked Jesus Christ to come in your life what it should do it right now. If you're single, no guys can meet all your needs. Okay sorry the best guys taken. It was me.

I'm off the market. Okay, no joke, no guys going to do it, including me, for sure that only want to ask my wife about that but Tom no girls get to do it. Marriage is going to do it, but Christ can do it so that you must reach out to him and say Lord forgive me of my sin. If you've not done that yet do it right now. Let's all bow our heads and pray father, thank you for your word to us and I pray for any that have joined this, you may not yet know you Lord what you help them to see their need for Jesus, help them to come to you and believing you in Jesus name I pray, amen.

Prayer from Pastor Greg Laurie if you'd like to make a change in your relationship with the Lord.

Pastor Greg wants to help you do that and he'll do so before today's addition of a new beginning. Concludes, and then were making available a wonderful book of encouragement for those who suffered loss is called divine disruption. Pastor Greg have heard of some people who walked away from God when it seemed that he didn't answer their prayers for a loved one, a loved one who passed away, what would you say to someone who's wondering if God is on their side there wondering if if God can be trusted.

Well, I think we have to look at the big picture. Is it a punishment or is it a reward to go to heaven. I would liken it to this, let's say you went to Disneyland on a really hot day you are standing in a really long line and suddenly the CEO of Disneyland came out and he gave you his name and then he said I wanted take you to the front of the line and I want to get you in the front of every ride as you come in to the park without be a good thing or a bad thing.

All the people waiting in line would envy you hey you lucky dog.

How did you pull that off an early death means an early crown.

If you're walking with Jesus.

You don't have to fear death. Paul said to live is Christ and to die is gain weight. What gain yes gain is you going to God's presence. So for the person who goes to heaven. It's a wonderful thing honestly for us that say goodbye to that person is a very painful thing and I know we wish that our love ones could live forever. Well, they will live forever if there are Christian, but in God's presence. Not forever on this earth and saying goodbye is hard so wanted Christian has a fellow Christian may be a relative may be a friend die.

You need to remember this, you'll see them again. They're not just a part of your pastor, also a part of your future. Therefore, you do not say goodbye's sale. See you later.

So here's a book that I want to offer you right now the deals with that a much more is called divine disruption written by Pastor Tony Evans so y'all know Tony is a great radio broadcast is a prolific author, but would unique about this book, as he wrote it with his two sons and two daughters. It deals with the loss of the Evans family is faced, especially having their mother go to be with the Lord and how hard that's been for them, but how they been able to deal with this loss with great trust in God so called divine disruption in the subtitle says, holding on the faith when life breaks your heart. So, if life is broken your heart if you're hurting right now.

I think this book is really going to be helpful. I'll send you a copy of divine disruption for your gift of any size know some of you can send a large gift. Some smaller gift. But whatever you said we will write you a copy of divine disruption by Tony Evans and his children, and I know this will be a blessing to you yeah yeah that's right, and each of Tony's kids is in ministry and they're all great communicators so you get five different perspectives packed in one book and a little tip. Chapter 11 is so helpful with some of Tony's strongest encouragement will send you divine disruption to thank you for your partnership with us for this daily study time can continue where entirely listener supported in your donation not only feed your own spiritual education and edification, but it also helps us reach out to others in your community, so we hope you'll call us today at 1-800-821-3300. We are here around the clock to take your call at 1-800-821-3300 or go online to harvest.org will Pastor Greg you talk about the importance of coming to the Lord, or coming back to the Lord and no doubt there's somebody listening right now would like to do that okay. Can you help them take that next step. Yes, I would be delighted to.

And you don't want to make this commitment or recommitment to Christ. I want you to pray right now and if you mean this prayer from your heart. God will hear you. The Bible says draw near to God and he'll draw near to you. And that's a step you'll be taking out pray this after me God. I know that I'm a sinner and I'm sorry for my sin but I thank you for sending Jesus Christ your son to die on the cross in my place though I turn from my sin and I choose to follow you this day forward as your disciple. Thank you for accepting me.

Thank you for forgiving me in Jesus name I pray, amen of you prayed that prayer in minutes from your heart. God is hurt you and he is forgiven you. We have some materials that we would like to send to you at no charge that will encourage you in this commitment you've made to Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's right, the materials are all assembled and what we call our new believers] will be glad to send it your way, if you will get in touch with us. Just as soon as possible. It's free of charge. Just call us at 1-800-821-3300. We are here to take your call around the clock again, dial 1-800-821-3300 or go online to harvest.org and click on know God will next time Pastor Greg brings a timely look at the importance of seeing revival in our time. More importantly, we can play in making it a reality. Join us here on a new beginning.

Pastor and Bible teacher. Pray for things for the new beginning. Greg Laurie podcasts made possible by harvest partners, helping people everywhere know God sign up for daily devotions and learn how to become a harvest partner harvest.org