How to Get a New Husband: Spiritual Leaders

We are glad you're joining us for a new beginning with Greg Laurie, a podcast supported by harvest partners get more encouraging audio content. When you subscribe to pastor Craig daily depots. Learn more and sign up@harvest.org today on a new beginning. Pastor Gregory's white comments on the need for male spiritual leadership in the home. I think the situation in society and culture today is upside down. We have men who are under the leadership. As a result, women become hyper controlling when there's a leadership and then you have this totally better, so no one ever heard Alexander Graham Bell say excuse me with someone show me how to work his phone when God created the heaven mind how the family works you Laurie, for God's plan for as he continues to series home sweet home. For more harmony will rub our Bible first Peter chapter 3 the title of my messages how to get a new husband. No bylaws. Love the job I focus my remarks toward men.

This message and to direct my remarks more toward the ladies here at the end of my message. My wife Kathy is going to come up. You have a discussion about some of these things so that's something to look forward to, but the title of the messages I mentioned is how to get a new husband. Now you discovered years ago that the way to sell a product that's liking the bit is to put the words new and improved on it though it may be that the only thing that is new and improved about the product is the logo or the color for one extra ingredient that has no real effect but just so they can technically say it's new and improved because there's something in this that once the newest we want the process. We want the fastest.

We want the latest version of it sort of like if you ever buy a new car or truck. First of all there's that new car smell. It's just so amazing because everything is so clean and as you bought the car you made about a minute. Take care of this car.

There will not be one dent in this car. This car will be washed every week, no every day I will wash this car that I will take it in for regular maintenance and upkeep of imperfect running order, and 30 years later. It'll still be on the road. I want to make it into a classic well then there was at first family vacation and if you have kids forget about it you know now the first dance. Now the second bed now there's dense and then send, and you haven't been taking it down for regular maintenance and now you're having some problems with that. And you know it just isn't what it used to be and then you just saw the latest model of your car cruise down the street you would hold so you go to the car dealer now and now you're looking at the new model and you trade in your old junker for the latest version marriages can be like this on the day you were married. You stated your bowels I take you for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish, till death do us part in human every word of those you but as time passed, you neglected the maintenance of your marriage.

You didn't keep it tuned up, it began to sputter wasn't headed for being a classic. It was looking more like a junker then that new model caught your eye that sensitive God who actually listen to what you had to see girls and you thought you try to phone number, size maybe I'll trade my spell sin on this person will this is what we never want to do so. I want to talk today about how to get a new husband. Now, if you're thinking this means you dump your husband sorry that's not the point.

This is about helping your husband be new and improved serious and what should you be directing your remarks toward the men. No, actually I need to direct my remarks toward you today ladies because there's a very key role that you can play in all of this.

If we do it God's way. But before you can turn your husband into a new man.

Maybe some you ladies need to think about becoming a new woman. Some women work so hard to make good husbands. They never managed to make good wives.

So let's see what the Scripture has to say about the role of the woman, and specifically the wife and married first Peter three and I'm reading from the new living translation. By the way, for this particular portion wives.

Likewise, be submissive, your own husbands, even those who refuse to accept the good news. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words the be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior will be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes should be known for the beauty that comes from within the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. There we learned about getting a new husband. Point number one be the best version of you that you can be be the best version of you that you can beat up first and foremost for a girl you want to be godly you want to become a virtuous woman. I hope you've read Proverbs 31 but if you haven't, go read that later and it tells you all about what a woman of virtue looks like there's something very special about a godly girl number two. Respect your man.

Ephesians 533 says let each one of you men in particular.

Love his wife as himself, let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ladies, do you respect your husband listen to this.

Wives need love and husbands the respect that's not to say that husbands don't need love and wives don't need respect what it is to say Scripture very specifically says to wives respect your husband very specifically says that husbands love your wives so that we should pay attention that point number three. Submit to the leadership of your husband know this is not in any way to suggest that a man is superior and a woman is inferior it is to say, rather, they belong to each other. Therefore when God calls a woman to submit to the leadership of the man is not saying she's any less then a man because she isn't showing men of equal men and women have equal standing before God. Paul writes in Galatians 328 in Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, listen male nor female, for your all one in Christ.

So, though there is no difference between men and women in the nature of their salvation and standing with God. There is a structure of authority that God said in the merits.

Now I know it's easier to submit to godly leadership of your husband is loving you is priceless.

The church it's really not that hard to follow because he's putting you first. But on the other hand, sometimes you find yourself in a marriage with a man that is not godly at all baby professes faith but he doesn't really lead as he ought to spiritually. Maybe you found yourself in a marriage to a nonbeliever. So what should you do is every Christian growth from it. So you know Greg, I think the Lord's telling me to divorce my heathen husband any said to me the other day go Mary the cute guy you saw church last week know you know it doesn't say that.

How do you say because is what he says in his word there married to a nonbeliever. Don't leave him, but try to win him without a word. Are you saying I should still submit to the leadership of a husband was in the Christian, the answer is a qualified yes. A qualified yes by that I mean yes you are to let him be the leader in the relationship. Not if he would tell you to do something that is outside of the will of God.

Illustration, let's say your husband said to you, the person wife. I don't want you to go to church on Sunday anymore. No more church just stay home with me on Sunday mornings and watch me sleep in my La-Z-Boy recliner which would you do want to stay home and submit none of them say honey I love you.

I make a nice breakfast and then I'm going to church with the kids and we'll see what we get back. Yeah, you need to think of your own spiritual life, so that's a situation where you would not submit to the leadership. Let's say the husband ask you to do something that was immoral or it was illegal know you're not required to submit to that. Let's say the husband is kidding, you know you're not required to submit to that understand what this means, because there are times when a higher law supersedes a lower one and know God is established, the family structure of the husband as they had in the wife and the submissive role. He has also established the fact that he is over all, Mr. Greg Morey will have the second half of this message just a moment as his wife Kathy joined him.

We really enjoy hearing with Pastor Greg's teaching and preaching touches lives faster.

Greg, I came across your YouTube channel this past Friday I spent most of the weekend listening to your messages. I'm now listening to your podcast and I can't tell you how great it is to have found you.

I love your messages and they are helping me daily with my understanding of Christ in the Bible. I would say been a Christian for most my life, but I found it hard to let go of the world and my selfish desires 51 years of age. I'm finally understanding what it means to have a relationship with Christ. I'm married. I have two children who just graduated from high school and I also deserve my wife and kids to dial into your messages because they needed to thank you so much for all your doing.

It's a blessing to know that listeners are hearing these messages and God is using his word to touch individuals and families.

However, Pastor Greg studies impacted your life to let him know drop an email to grade@harvest.org that's great@harvest.org back to our study. Now Greg and his wife dialogue on the Bible's counsel Christian women. The let's hear from the beautiful Catherine Lori. She comes out okay. Kathy guys were mystified by girls and I said you last time you the girls sites of this on-the-fly and I love your response or requested. Do you think that guys are kinda like dogs and girls are, like cats understand more and going a dog you know we have been with the dog.

You know cats are Mr. Colin and they leave you and they come back and they lick you and they don't talk to you and you were what is it you know the answer to my dying you at an interest that really stupid question about very interesting because women are interdependent and guys are more independent. I mean it's just, you know, in culture that's guys you know they go out to venture out to get the job fair world is out there that can independently move where is winning. I think were little more complicated. I think just understatement of the year way more complicated our bodies are more complicated are our minds, our emotions are more complicated for share and we have strengths that guys don't parents.

And even though we are into dependent. We have social life for women is very important. Our friendships are very important. I relationship so that children are very more more interconnected, and that's why I say women are more like dogs and men are more like your hair is are there animal neon there for nearly all their their email theories sleep. They like to hang out more likely on their own wavelength to come to doing their own thing non-communicative anytime so I say women are more like dogs were more interesting were very observant. We have a higher emotional IQ think I still like you come away from the situation that he totally did you see your teaching noticed this about that person talking to someone I love that person's great yes but did you notice this, I did notice that Joe picked up on things. I miss all the time so I think the gift that you got a no girls when to use it and went to be quiet. You can't just when I get any further. I like a sucking new wife, married to a nonbeliever. Women without a word. What is okay well I'm standing passage and in Peter pretty carefully and from what I have learned is that at the time when that was written in the Roman Empire. There was a law that basically was conscious.

Amelia's and not with were literally like kings in their home. Women had no rights.

They couldn't own property.

They had no education on if a husband wanted to have his wife divorced or put to death or to be chastened or whatever. There were no rights for women whatsoever. So when Peter is writing that he is writing to a situation where a woman might be married to an unbelieving husband man who doesn't have the Scriptures to inform him and and is so beautiful because what we learn about the headship of the man from the biblical perspective is not it's not to be king.

It's not like you have the platinum card and she has to fly in the back of the plane. It's an servant leadership as Jesus demonstrated wishes to lay down his life for he lovingly led. He washed the disciples feet and said, I am your Lord and Master, and this is the example so you know nonbelieving men in in the Roman times would have this unbelievable authority and Peter is telling them to use your godly lifestyle uses the tools that you have as a woman in a situation like that without a word without being overly talkative, overly domineering and I think that situation in society and culture today is kind of it's kind of upside down from what it was then we have men who are unwilling to take the leadership role. So as a result, women become hyper controlling when there's a leadership vacuum Dell step and if women are questioning of the man's authority they're always belittling their husband. There always on counting and resisting their decisions and leadership in a husband at some point will step down and then you have this total imbalance and that is unscriptural in biblical intermarriage by Mike Sprague and I don't really have many situations where he has to say Kathy. We disagree. And I am making the decision for the family and for you and what I believe the Lord is showing me and then I have to submit to that is so rare in the 40 years 42 years of marriage I enlarged. He asked my opinion. We discussed things together. We compromise a consensus, but there have been times where Greg has had to make a tough decision and you know I didn't always appreciate that is not something that I saw modeled my home growing. I didn't have a biblical model to cease. I had to learn from Scriptures which is really hard to learn to back down when it comes push comes to shove, I'm called to submit and what I have discovered over the years is that man when I did not belittle and question and resist Greg's leadership wanted two things has happened one it's turned out that he is made exactly the right decision.

And even though me with all my intuition and with all my abilities to communicate with all my smarts that I think I have.

I was wrong and then I seen the Lord show me, so don't question Greg.

He's been given the responsibility pray for him and if it's not my will you pray there are times when it's worked out so beautifully.

It's been exactly the right thing. I remember when we were first married, that I was very attached to my kids.

I did not want to ever leave them I did not want to leave Christopher. I didn't want to leave Jonathan and there were times when Greg would say Kathy you know your marriage to me comes first. You know the children are going to go eventually and we are going to stay together is community.

We need to invest in our relationship.

I was starting to get money for anyone but me. You know it was not easy to go along with thanks leadership hindsight it was exactly the right thing to do testing relationship which you relationship with your husband about your relationship with your children. And then there were times when Greg may have made a decision and he would freely admit that was not the right choice and what happened as a result the world fall apart and we survived and she will arrange a really important lesson to and not wise.

Sometimes you need to listen to your wife.

He knows you.

You would benefit from her perspective and what she has to say go back you said because I wondered some people questions about that.

The relationship between you and your husband begin.

What is more important than that between you and your children. Some people know know I disagree with that morning saying that the relationship with your children is not really important not talk about that. But there's kind of a an order of structure. There and see if you and the name of all my children of the most important neglect your husband and then your marriage falls apart. The worst thing that can happen your care but if you keep your marriage strong and vibrant loving your wife loving your husband. That's the best gift you can give to your kids about what were saying, but when does scripture say that that men and women when they leave their father and mother and cleave to one another and that cleaving is not a temporary cleaning that's permanent cleaving as long as you are both alive, you are to cleave to one another. Where is your children. As the Scriptures rightly say will leave their father and mother establish their own households. They will have their own families and you set an example for them to then repeat yes and women. We are teaching we are teaching our daughters were teaching our friends about these very important biblical roles that culture does not understand all would you close with prayer in pray for the ladies.

Here are some of there's girls listen right another bunny. I like what she says that's biblical.

Some girls are going she said what I don't know if I agree with that but you know honestly you're gonna disagree with Scripture because that's all were sharing here but were also assuring how this is work for us in 42 years of marriage is theories.

These are biblical principles that we found to be true, not just in our marriage but have seen in some of the others, but maybe pray for the ladies in pray for the marriages in general. Right now is so much more that can be said about all of these things Carlson.

I would suggest that you get into a Bible study getting a circle of friends to understand these things.

Find a mentor. Find someone with a biblical marriage that you admire and respect and learn because you're not cuddling this anywhere else that I'd be happy to pray Lord we are so grateful that you have not left us without a roadmap, you have not left us without instructions and beautiful instructions that if we read them rightly and understand that when you speak of submission. You modeled it for ice Jesus you came into this world and though you were Lord and Master, you humbled yourself and looked out for our interests above your own. You put our needs above your own and that is what we are called to model both husbands and wives, and for that we need the empowering of your Holy Spirit, Jesus.

These are things that fly contrary to every fiber of our natural being is not normal to be selfless.

It is not normal to think of others above ourselves. We know that as we become more like you. Your Holy Spirit dwells in us is transforming us and changing our priorities and that Lord you promised us that if we would humble ourselves and be obedient that you would watch out for us and that ultimately it would lead to a beautiful and a fulfilling and happy life. So let me do ask for the power of your Holy Spirit to live lives that will be pleasing to you as women as wives as singles and that you would have sway and every decision and every action every word that we would speak, especially in our marriage.

In Jesus name Greg Laurie, his wife Kathy practical insight for the Christian home, glad you joined us for this special presentation today your on a new beginning. Your pastor Greg I think of heard you say that God never wastes our pain when we face painful times.

It's not for nothing, but God can use it sometimes in pretty miraculous ways. And we have a resource available right now that discussions are that's true God is the purpose and the things that he either does or allows in our life.

And I know there are times when things don't make sense.

Hey, I've had those times to like Lord, what are you doing, why did you allow this to happen. What is the purpose of this and frankly there are some things that I don't have an answer on that. You know what I look back on our son going to be with the Lord. 13 years ago. I still question that I still wish that it never happened. But having said that, I can look back on the times since then. I can see how God is change me in these change my wife and these change our son, our son was actually not walking with the Lord and that event others brother going to be with the Lord just woke him up spiritually in the he's committed themselves to Christ object now is a pastor at our church. I can look at how Kathy and I were willing to go and do things we've never done before and take risks with never taken before and and try things would never tried before.

So I said that I was thinking of all these good things that happen without my son Dina which she could have been here with us for this, but there are some questions that will never be answered.

This side of heaven. But look, don't waste your pain. You can take your pain and you can use it as a tool to help others you know.

The apostle Paul says that he comforts with the comfort that he himself is been comforted with and I found that I am able to bring words of comfort and assurance to others who lost loved ones and speaking of losing loved ones.

We have a very special book that is just come out a brand-new book that we want to offer to you that will bring comfort to you and your times of difficulty. It's written by the whole Tony Evans family know you know Tony Evans he's on the radio. With this program, urban, alternative, and he's a prolific author, but he wrote this book, along with his daughters crystal and Priscilla and his sons Anthony and Jonathan. This is a wonderful godly family and a lot of that is due to the powerful influence of their mother Lois Lois went to be with the Lord recently. So the whole family got together and wrote about the impact of this event on their life in this book they call divine disruption subtitled holding on the base when life breaks your heart to send you this book is going to be an encouragement to you or someone you know and maybe you don't feel like you need a book like this right now.

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