How to Get a New Husband: Finding Harmony in the Home

Everybody you're listening to a new beginning, which is a podcast made possible by harvest partners. If this program is impacted you love to hear from you. So just send an email to me at greg@harvest.org again it's greg@harvest.org you can learn more about becoming harvest partner by going to harvest.org coming up today on a new beginning master Greg Laurie continues his family series with some specific encouragement for women why you want to become a virtuous woman there so little said about this in culture today. So much of the focus of all women's magazines that are out there on your obscurant don't make that your primary focus be the best version of you. You can be in 20th century was just a tad. Don't you try to be different. Don't give me what you need.

You be what you if a man is what he is and he is with today on a new beginning master Greg Laurie helps husbands and wives in particular people.

God created them to be good counsel from God's word.

Men and women can work together to enjoy more all right were in our calling home all what were talking about the family. How many of you are Mary Frazier get up okay good. How many of you have a home sweet home razor. How many of you could use some help in your home sweet home.

Let's grab our Bibles were going to turn to first Peter chapter 3, first Peter chapter 3 the title of my messages how to get a new husband. So ladies are you happy you came to church today guys are you unhappy you came, what is what is this message. I think it'll be okay for both of you heard a story told her this one before but together was walking down the beach or in Southern California and saw something shiny coming out of the sand so he stooped down and reached down and picked it up and it was a lamb, and he was rubbing up the sand and the genie appears to store the genie says oh master. I will give you one with whatever you want, I'll give it to you. The guy says one with whatever the freeway says all behavior economy. It's just hard these days were down to one was well one with God thought about for a moment that you know I've always wanted to go to why I've heard it's beautiful.

I've seen photos I've seen Tillman. I have a fear of flying that I don't get it.

An airplane so if you could build a bridge from California to Hawaii so I could drive over and see the islands that would be awesome genie that's my wish genie says what are you crazy you know it's work that is some its expenses involved in building a bridge in California know why the concrete alone would cost so much. There's no way I can do that whisper something else God thinks about it for a moment as we know it genie I've never been able to understand women and I especially don't understand my wife so here's my wish genie from this point forward.

I want to be able to understand women. Genie says back to the bridge to laser for you know this by 42 years of marriage. I can't say that I understand women. I think in general for guys girls are a mystery that was.

But here's what I've also found, sometimes girls are administrator girls okay but I know someone who does understand you very well and that's got himself who created you, so let's see what the Scripture does this say about the role of the woman, and specifically the wife and married first Peter three and I'm reading from the new living translation. By the way, for this particular portion wives.

Likewise, be submissive, your own husbands, even those who refuse to accept the good news. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words that we won over by watching your pure, godly behavior. Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes should be known for the beauty that comes from within the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. There so we learned about getting a new husband. Point number one be the best version of you that you can be be the best version of you that you can beat up first and foremost for a girl you want to be godly you want to become a virtuous woman.

I hope you read Proverbs 31 but if you haven't, go read that later and it tells you all about what a woman of virtue looks like my the way the word virtue is not purely a feminine word. I think we might think of it in a feminine context only, but in the Bible. It's also used to describe men in certain instances.

So the word virtuous is a word that actually means purity string, force and value doesn't mean weakness and means purity string, force and value it speaks about balance woman who is strong in every way.

She is a woman that is beautiful on the outside and also on the inside. There's so little said about this in culture today. So much of the focus of all of the women's magazines that are out there are on your obscurant's how to lose X amount of pounds by summer.I have better sex, you know it's all in the outward is a lifetime of the cover-up cause more. Some of the women's magazine you read this headline, how to be a godly girl an in-depth look at Proverbs 31 never and you never will see that's not the focus of culture today. It's all in the way that you look in the H kicks in. Some girls are frustrated by the fact that they don't look the way they used to look in know they're a little bit concerned a little bit worried about that. The pull of gravity is kicking in.

And maybe your striking beauty is no longer there. But here's the thing. If you concentrate on being a beautiful woman on the inside as well as the outside will be more attractive with the passing of yours, not less. So there's something very special about a godly girl and that is why I think many times nonbelievers are attracted to Christian women because they don't find those values and the other girls out there so they come to the Christian woman they see that virtue. They see that quality and they want that quality but course, this little word of the fights don't ever hook up with the ungodly men when you're looking for a guy if you're single, you want to find one that loves the Lord and if you're already married to a guy the business godly as you want him to be, will find it.

What you should do in this message right here with a godly woman focuses primarily on the internal but does not forget the external let me say that again the godly woman focuses on the internal spiritual, but does not forget about the external about the physical and it's interesting the words of the future. Verse three lecture a dorm and not be merely outward.

The word adorning this from the Greek word cosmos. We get our word because medic from a don't focus primarily on cosmetics. It doesn't say don't use them at all. Get a sometimes a question is asked to a Christian girl wear makeup simple answer. The house needs painting a so this is not a put down of outward beauty. This is not a criticism of doing everything you can to be attractive at same, don't make that your primary focus answer as you look in Scripture. You'll find the Bible does not permit women to look attractive and even encourages it. The bride of Solomons and song of Solomon chapter 1 verse 10 is described as a woman the beauty that wears beautiful clothing.

The same is said in Proverbs 31, 22 of the virtuous woman God is not condemning a woman for trusting herself attractively.

The criticism is being preoccupied with the criticism is only think about that, but we can go too far in either side right.

We can be all about the spiritual and neglect the outward we can be all about the outward and neglect the N-word. We need to find the balance that is given to us in Scripture be the best version of you that you can be as attractive as you can be think sometimes in the name of spirituality.

Some Christian women neglect their parents recommend to being sloppy and unkempt is not a virtue, and you say why married. Now he needs to love me the way that I am yeah ha. But are you doing everything you can to be the most attractive woman you commit will Greg, I'm not a runway model. Okay yeah I know and he's the George Clooney either. Brad Pitt arrived… Advice said be the best version of you that you can be as important to take care of the physical body that God has given to you. Don't think it's unspiritual to be concerned about weighing too much are being out of shape or neglecting yourself that's on the non-spiritual thing at all. In fact, Scripture tells us that bodily exercises of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for the present life and the life to come. Yeah, it's of some value. It doesn't say it's of no value to you want to find that right balance to Greg Laurie will have the second half of his message just a moment, everybody Greg Laurie here.

You know my uncle Fred Jordan at one of the first Christian TV programs out there.

It was called church in the home.

I remember watching it as a little boy when I was living with my grandparents we have church in the home for you every weekend is called harvest@homeinvitedharvest.org we have worship in a message of God's word. So join us this weekend for harvested home harvest.today Pastor Greg is bringing practical encouragement to Christian why and husbands permits Christian family series called home sweet home. Let's continue now number two respect your men respect your man Re: SPECT. That is what he needs from the okay verse 19 speaking for our reading from new King James likewise wisely submissive your own husbands, and even some do not obey the word they without a word. Maybe one by the conduct of otherwise while they observed or changed and respectful respectful conduct accompanied by fear or better word would be respect must respect her husband. Ephesians 533 says let each one of you men in particular. Love his wife as himself, let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ladies, do you respect your husband listen to this.

Wives need love and husbands the respect that's not to say that husbands don't need love and wives don't need respect what it is to say Scripture very specifically says to wives respect your husband very specifically says that husbands love your wives so that we should pay attention that you know a woman needs to be affirmed. A woman needs to be encouraging needs to know that you love her and appreciate her in a sometimes men are mischaracterized as not been emotional say women are emotional men are not not true at all. Men are just as emotional as women are we just suppress it. That's all because maybe we have the idea that's not masculine.

I have two words for any man that thinks it's on masculine to express emotion ready for the words Jesus wept and Jesus was the man man was never a more manly guy that walked the planet than Jesus Christ when he expressed a motion weeping sorrow and joy and all the rest and will hold those things then. But what were feeling them. So sometimes a guy you need to know this about your husband are girls. You look at you and think she looks beautiful today or I love her so much but he hasn't seen anything some guys step up your game and say you look beautiful. Okay so women need love, but many respect you know guys are pretty low maintenance when it's all said and done, I know this from my own wife raised two boys, and others that embrace Boys and Girls Club always take boys are so much easier to raising girls. Which brings me to my point. Even girls don't understand girls right boys or Kennewick to see is what you get and the guys don't need as much.

As you may think. Here's one thing the guy needs review respect Shiva guy comes home from work and he's exhausted. New telling all the things he needs to do and tell him all the things he's doing wrong, tell them always that measuring up. This can be harmful because you need to balance it with respect and you don't have to do it every day. But every once in a while throw the guy up own and just say honey I don't know if I've said this to you lately but I love you and I so respect you as a man as a husband and as a father, and I admire you what you just got like days, maybe weeks of chores right there with the nagging would never accomplish that little complement will help you in more ways than you would ever realize.

Husbands, love your wives, wives respect her husband.

Here's a problem when a husband feels disrespected as a natural tendency to react in ways that seem unloving to the why and when a wife feels alive. She has a tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. So here's what you need to do. Just do your part as I said before, read your own mail. Don't quote versus dear husband about what he supposed to do guys "verses to your wife about what she's supposed to do. Read the verse is directed at you and do your part. Reading each other's mail. Don't wait until you feel love to loving things.

Don't wait until you feel respect show it in your actions. I heard about woman that didn't want to be married anymore. She hated her husband so she went down to see a divorce attorney send Alyssa how I want to divorce him, but I don't want to just divorce and I want her to him. I would devastate him. I want you to help me know how to do that the attorney said I have an idea, this for the next three months I want to to tell your husband how much you love him tell them how much you respect him and smother him with compliments and just tell them about all the great things you seen them do it for three months and he'll be so built-up and so encouraged and I just drop a lot of time divorcing you kill him like a bombshell.

Jesus cool evil that's what you get three months, complimented them, smother them with affection totally moment you respected them another three months or up the attorney to put on his gallery give her call gets time to file for the divorce for divorce.

What are you talking about were going on our second honeymoon wouldn't she do she just honored a simple biblical principle by respecting her husband. Point number three. Submit to the leadership of your husband, submit to the leadership of your husband. First Peter three.

I wanted to wives, be submissive to your own husbands, that's even if some do not obey the word they without a word.

Maybe one by the conduct of their wives while they observed your chase and respectful conduct accompanied by fear now, let's be honest, nobody wants to submit to anyone in culture today were in a narcissistic need first culture and we don't like the idea of submitting ourselves to any form of authority so only come to the Bible and read this word we don't like it, let's understand something were all called to submit to God right submit to God. The Bible says, resist the devil and he will flee from you and then also in the marriage. Husbands and wives are both called to submit to each other in an earlier message in this series. I pointed out in Ephesians 5 how it says submit one to another in the reverence of God. So before a word is said to the wife about her submission to the husband were told the both husband and wives should submit to one another. What is that mean it means that you rank yourself under it to military term meaning that someone ranks over you. So the husband says I'm at a submit to her. I'm in the supporter, to get underneath her and hold her up. She says the same thing for you. First, it starts with submission to God and then mutual submission to one another, but now there's a specific place for the roles of the man and the woman in the marriage know this is not in any way to suggest that a man is superior and a woman is inferior it is to say, rather, they belong to each other.

Therefore when God calls a woman to submit to the leadership of the man is not think she's any less then a man because she isn't showing men of equal men and women have equal standing before God. Paul writes in Galatians 328 in Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free lesson mail nor female. We are all one in Christ. So, though there is no difference between men and women in the nature of their salvation and standing with God.

There is a structure of authority that God is said in the marriage first Corinthians 11 three sums it up perfectly all right.

I want you to know that head of every man is Christ, and the head of a woman is man in the head of Christ is God's knowledge understand what this verse means nothing will get the bigger picture of all this all works. Notice it says the head of Christ is God, don't think for a moment about the Trinity father-son Holy Spirit right there comb equal in their coeternal the father is not any more God than the sun is in the sun is no more God or more of the deity, then the spirit is there, all God are all part of the Godhead. They all are deity, but yet they have separate functions and roles in Scripture teaches that God the father is the head of Christ. Though Jesus was God when he walked this earth, he submitted to the will of the father deadening. He lowered himself back Philippians as he laid aside his rights and privileges or emptied himself from the Greek word connotes is the emptying, so he put the will of the father, even above the will of his own. Does that mean Jesus was less than the father there equal but it means that he took a different rollover he himself said I am the father are one. So the relationship structure of Christ to God the father is the same with marriage. Though the husband and wife are equal in their standing before God in order for the family to function in harming the woman with no loss of dignity takes the place of submission to the headship of the husband. The husband models the way God loves the church.

The wife models the way the church loves God the husband has a God-given responsibility to provide for, protect, and lead just as the Lord does the church and the wife is to submit graciously to the servant leadership. The husband provides just as the church submits willingly to the headship elicit any husband with half a brain will listen to his wife. I can think of a decision I've made in our marriage of 42 years wherever not consulted my wife, Kathy, what do you think of this and I get her input and there were many times when I think I want to go a certain way she'll say one thing.

Nothing yeah you're right it will do it your way. Sometimes I don't like it.

Sometimes I walk pointing on my way and then I'll think about that. She's right, you're right.

Not the greatest better. Then there are times I say no we need to do this and it turns out I'm right and there are times I think we need to do this and it turns out I'm wrong. Yes it works in many ways, but the point is, there has to be some kind of a structure.

But if you're smart guys you listen to your wife of the woman of virtue in Proverbs 31 it says that her husband's full confidence in her elect nothing of value should bring some good not to harm all the days of her life. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction on her tongue great encouragement for Christian wives today in a message called how to get a new husband is from his Christian family series home sweet home is a great let me ask you what we do in those times when the bottom just absolutely falls out of our lives and we wonder if maybe God wasn't paying attention he was paying attention.

How would he let that happen. Help us think through those moments of crisis right let's pull the camera back and get the big picture our life as a beginning, a middle and an end.

God created us to walk with him and did know him and God is also preparing us for heaven because heaven is a prepared place for prepared people. Jesus said I go to prepare a place for you. So God's endgame if you will, is to make you more like Jesus, you know, we are "Romans 828 in times of crisis, but we forget there's a verse that follows the Romans 828 says but we know that all things work together for good to those that love God, another called according to his purpose.

But then verse 29 says, for whom he called, he also did foreknow to be conformed into the image of his own dear son. So sometimes when we isolate Romans 828 we come to the conclusion of oh well this is a bad thing.

God will make it into a good thing.

That's not what the promise says it says it because all things to work together for good. But what is the ultimate good. The removal of our problem know the ultimate good is to be more like Jesus. So God is either done what is happening in your life or he has allowed it for his purposes, so that is the moment we must learn to trust him. And speaking of trusting him. Here's a family who is trusted God through great difficulty not only losing many family members in the short period of time, but losing the real matriarch of their family, their mother and the wife of Tony Evans.

I'm talking about Lois Evans. I'm talking about the Evans family.

Tony is the dad we have crystal Priscilla Anthony and Jonathan, all of them walking with the Lord. That's a real tribute to not only Tony but especially to Lois and the title of this book is divine disruption was really unique about this book. Dave is the whole family chimed in and participated and contributed to it and this is a book that brings hope and encouragement and subtitled holding on debates when life breaks your heart. Maybe I'm talking to somebody right now who was a broken heart. It makes no sense what is happened to you, and you're wondering as Dave mentioned earlier, is God paying attention. The answer is yes, yes, because as I've often said the word hoops is not in God's vocabulary God's work in your life. But let me share this book with you, which will offer you a biblical perspective and honest words of encouragement. I say honest because the Evans family as candid as he discussed what it's like to lose someone as important as their mother and Tony speaking of losing his wife, but really, do we really lose someone we know where they are. They all know that she's in heaven they know they'll see her again and that is the hope of the Christian. Let me send you this book divine disruption for your gift of any size and whatever you send will be used to help us continue to bring the gospel to people that need to hear it and to bring words of Pope those who are feeling hopeless in this right is such an important resource for those who were facing these kinds of emotional challenges right now, get this book for yourself or give it to someone you know who could use this biblical encouragement again is called divine disruption and will send a copy or way to say thank you for your donation to help us continue these daily studies here on a new beginning were completely listener supported and we so much appreciate those who partner with us, you can call us at 1-800-821-3300. That's a 24 seven phone number 1-800-821-3300 or write a new beginning. Box 4000, Riverside, CA 92514 or go online to harvest.org and don't forget if you made a commitment to the Lord by listening to these studies draw Pastor Greg an email at Greg@harvest.for the next time a special treat. Pastor Greg is joined by his wife as they both discuss the Bible's encouragement version live in mother join us here on the new beginning*Bible teacher, regulatory and thanks for the Greg Laurie podcast made possible by harvest partners, helping people everywhere know God sign up for daily devotions and learn how to become a harvest partner harvest.org