4 Words that Can Change Your Marriage: Loving Unconditionally

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Love your water as it may seem all too simple to read Maurice's those four words can transform a difficult relationship into a rewarding marriage, as Christ loves the church. I believe the point of this love your wife got the love and feeling lover you are not a lot of money held still thinks a lot of work it out there on the race again today on a new beginning. Greg Laurie brings his good counsel, simple yet it's a challenge at the same time will learn to unleash the power of words that can change your marriages ready for a copy of this insight well my smoke alarm went off of weeks ago at 4 o'clock in the morning. What is the deal with alarms going up at 4 o'clock in the morning. Now look at there's a problem.

Thank God for the alarm. There's never a problem.

I jumped out of bed just by going from a dead sleep. I jumped out of bed quickly put on my hello Kitty slippers and not just my hello Kitty onesie I don't Felix the cat so whatever. Sorry I run downstairs.

My heart is beating there's no will get this done. Another false alarm.

Why can alarms go off at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Is there something these guys program the with the battery so make sure it goes off in the middle of the night. I don't know but it's at a point now where of someone's alarm goes off the parking structure in a mall don't even look, we don't think some of the cars be broken into. We think well someone lost their car there trying to fight it. How many of you find your car with your alarm. Am I the only one. While I am among the very few I see.

I think it's called Alzheimer's disease.

When you lose your car in the mall so it got to the point now were when alarms go off we go to bed. Tension and you want to make sure that doesn't happen in your marriage because remember my last residence I talked about an idiot light in your car that my light up when you need to get fuel or something else and if you are getting a warning in your marriage. You want to be careful to pick very careful attention because if you're running low on fuel is and you cannot run on empty.

In your marriage.

God is giving you the power the resources and everything you need to have a strong, vibrant copy and yes, lasting marriage, and there is a right and a wrong way to do it.

If you see a successful marriage that did not happen by default or by accident that happened and I might add is happening because two people are applying themselves to keeping that marriage vibrant so we need to go back to what God says in his word because he tells us how to have a marriage that will last a lifetime. Calling this series home sweet home. That's what I want for you. I want your home to be a place that you look forward to returning to a place of warmth and love and support. But sadly, in many cases it home, broken home or home, miserable home.

So let's go back to what the Scripture says no listen. Some of your newly married and if you want a strong marriage then there things you need to do now I in our last service I talked to a couple that were celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary and that amazing and you know what their names were their names are Joseph and Mary. I'm not getting very 65 year they been together. Listen if you want a marriage like Joseph and Mary that starts now because the evening of your life is depended on the morning of your life. The end or the beginning so start now with good habit patterns with obedience to what the word of God says and you can have that very thing is, God will give you the strength to do it and we've already pointed out that our secular culture is doing everything it can so many ways to sabotage marriage and the family so we have to disregard that come back to what God says in his word God told you when I counsel couples were having marital problems. I was asked if you questions and I want to ask them of you right now. First of all I ask are you a Christian company of your questions.

Raise your hand up to good cake. Then I asked them.

Do they believe in what the Bible teaches on every subject, how many would say you believe more than okay good. And then I asked them if they're willing to do what the Bible tells them to do, even if they find it difficult how many of you would agree to that as well. Just a notice many and so there are there. There were but that's the hard part of my can actually do what the Bible says let's review what we've all got together to have a successful marriage, two things must happen. There must be a leaving and the cleaving.

Remember that statement in the book of Genesis for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh that we read later and God called their name Adam. So God saw Adam and Eve is one person want to man and a woman come together in marriage and its consummated by sexual love, and they become one flesh in the sight of God. So know what you want to do is leave and cleaving that something to do for the rest of your life virtually leave what you leave all of the relationships and by that I mean I know I'm not singer no longer son or daughter to your parents or simply what I'm saying now there's a number one relationship in your life and that number-one relationship is that with your spouse whose bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh.

So I leave all of the relationships and I make this my number one priority, second only to my relationship with God is a maintenance number two there is a cleaving another word leave means to be permanently glued together. Actually, the word implies, the Vieira parable damage if the two are separated. So it doesn't mean I'm stuck to that person but I'm glued to that person.

Big difference. I in other words I'm holding on to the person so I leave other relationships I'm holding on to my wife or to my husband see want to get this right now because what you don't want to have to do is remodel years ago we came back from a trip to Israel. As a matter fact we are very jetlagged. So Kathy, my wife was washing some close yet some in the sink in, and so we decided to go out and eat because we didn't have any food in the refrigerator and got so when we came home we realize you didn't turn the faucet off and the water was overflowing with about 2 feet of water over entire kitchen for only this essay was destroyed and so you call in the people in the of these big giant blowers you know and and you try to try it out so you don't get mildew, but it was destroyed. We had to replace it so we remodeled our flora to the remodeled our kitchen at this point, no then up number of years later.

Fast forward, we have a leaky hose that came disconnected and it flooded again and this time we redid our floor so here's our philosophy of remodeling, remodel, flood, remodel you remodel if you don't have to hassle with the mess is a lot of noise.

It seems to go on forever and it's a fun thing to have to rebuild your marriage if it's falling apart but if that's what it takes to do it, but better yet lay a good foundation and you won't have to be remodeling all the time because we have families and God is given us, and there is a double what poses them and wants to destroy them. Also let her know what shape your marriage is in is your listening to this message and maybe it's great it's strong it's it's vibrant. I hope that my message today encourages you and makes it even stronger. There might be some of you that on the outside to look to have a happy marriage.

But underneath there's big time trouble.

There's a communication breakdown is a lot of arguments even yelling. I hope that this of you, you'll maybe shore up your foundation. But then there are some others that maybe have a marriage it's hanging by a thread. You even use the word divorce. You even gone to a lawyer, it's gotten that bad.

What I want to say to you is, God can restore your marriage. There's hope for hurting marriages give up hope. HOPE it's an acronym for holding on with patient expectation hold on, I received a letter from a listener to a radio broadcast and actually listens to our program through her app on her iPhone and her know if you know but we have a harvest app that you can download for the iPhone, the IOS system the android system and you can watch our messages and read our devotions and a lot of other things and it's free.

But anyway she says I listen.

Your radio program on my iPhone.

Other the harvest up your sermons and devotionals have kept me afloat during a really dark time in my marriage a time where I felt as though my life was crumbling and I had no idea how could be rebuilt while driving to work back and forth every day I listen to you and felt God speaking to me through your teachings. I was able to get the dark times see God's amazing light and love that he had for me. Once again, by grace my marriages turned around. My husband is seeking the Lord with all of his heart see so those are not my words ogles are God's words and help this lady and these are God's words that will help you as well Mr. Greg Laurie will have the second half of this message just a moment. We love when we hear from our listeners like this woman who tweeted a comment to us.

I really enjoy your daily devotion whenever I'm settled with work life and staff your emails. The one thing that connects me back to the Lord, even if it's only five minutes most precious five minutes 19 thank you were grateful to hear how pastor breaks daily devotionals or touching lives in.

If you like to send a note to us email Pastor Greg greg@harvest.org doing today would you again that's great@harvest.org will today. Pastor Greg is presenting a message from his Christian family series titled four words that can change your marriage. Let's listen. So let's come to our text Ephesians 5 is the first one we identify four words that can change your marriage.

Ephesians 5 verse 25.

Husbands, love your wives, as of the forwards, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she should be holy and without blemish sought husbands to love their wives as a robotics either loves his wife loves himself.

For no one ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church, but we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. There noticed four times in a versus mentor simply told to love their wives. How we love our wives as Christ loved the church they might integrate that's kind of a tall order presented. Oh yes, it gets it's not something I can do humanly. It's not something I can do my own strength but I want to the notice when God directs his words to a marriage. He starts with the man is not to say he does not a lot to say to the woman, but God says husbands love your wife as Christ loves the church.

I believe that men should take point on this end should be the spiritual leaders and were told what we are to do but sometimes a lot of times, which is not doing it for about a married couple that was having severe problems. They thought they should get divorce. They wanted their pastor to give his approval so they made an appointment. They wanted to see him and after listening for a few moments about her. Realize there were no biblical grounds for divorce and by the way, there are exceptions and there are times when there are biblical grounds to end a marriage and I'll identify those in a later message with the title how to divorce proof your marriage will get to that later. By the way, those are rare occurrences but anyway they're sitting there with the pastor and the pastor looking above me said to the husband right now.

Listen, you need to love your wife as Christ loves the church meant that we know what I can do that okay pastor said go to a lower level. The Bible says you are to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Can you love your wife is much as you love your next-door neighbor. Husband said no that's that's still too hard. I can't do that from the oppressors that look but you're not getting off the hook. The Bible says love your enemies, start their listen, you're not getting around those guys. You are commanded by God to love your wife. This is where it all has to start for each one of us.

But what does this mean to love our wives well. This is from the Greek word agape agape. This word is translated into the word love more times than any other word for love in the New Testament. For instance, John 316 for God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son, that's the word agape forgot so agape the world first Corinthians 13, which is often called the love chapter defines what love is and what love does give the King James Bible it says charities supper of long and so forth.

But most translations have the word love their that's all from this Greek word agape. By the way, this is a love that is only available for the follower of Jesus Christ. The Bible even says God is agape.

So when you believe in him and put your faith in him.

The Bible says the love of God is been poured out into your heart through the Holy Spirit that is been given to us. That's over there and Romans 55 so the ideas the love is there, the love is available.

All that you need to have this love is right before you know you need to start applying. But the problem is is maybe we don't feel it is I'm feeling love you know that doesn't really matter member. The little righteous Brothers song you've Lost that loving feeling that good song but it's kind of a weird concept.

What is this guy saying you know it you don't close your eyes and he kissed me anymore and your fingertips don't tingle those stinking carers forget about that loving feeling get back to the loving reality. Paul doesn't say husbands, love your wife when you got that loving feeling. He says love your wife as Christ loved the church, you should love her. If you feel it or not, listen girls you should love Jim. If you feel it or not. Now in the English language we have one word for love and that's largely meaningless because we use it for everything from how I love my job I love to go to the beach. I love sushi I love Mexican food.

I love my God I love my wife. I love my husband now someone might as well are you saying that you love your wife is much as you love your dog. I love my dog more access a problem though. Okay what unconditional love that God love me no matter what I do. True, but still so the Greeks you know and we have the New Testament translated from Greek and many words for love euros for Leo agape and even some other word, so I want to focus on three of those because it helps us to understand how all three kinds of love work in our marriages.

Start with euros we get our word erotic from usually has a negative connotation that's erotic will erotic isn't always bad for fact heroes is probably what brought you and your spouse together heroes is just attraction attraction so the first time you saw him or her you owe their attractive. I hope you did you that's an attractive person so you notice them. Now heroes played out does include sexual love and in their boundaries and safety of a marriage. You should express yourself sexually. It's finding have heroes in your marriage. I encourage you they have heroes in your marriage is the Bible because the Bible says that the wedding better. The marriage bed is undefiled, so basically God saying he'd given this to you for your pleasure and for your expression of oneness and ultimately to bring children into the world.

Proverbs 515 says drink water from your own well share your love only with your wife or your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice with the wife of your youth. There's a problem with euros. It's basically a selfish love arrow says I love you because I find you attractive. You do something for me. I want that something from you. That's heroes love. It's only giving lot, but for Leo.

Let's say it's love in a higher plane of the word for Leo is translated to English words philanthropy of philanthropic in Philadelphia.

These are all words that express brother love for love that expresses itself and shows itself in. In fact, even in Titus two wives are told specifically for Leo there husband so the word that's used in this way, what is folio well it's a love that comes as a result of the pleasure or delight one trial from the object love. So in contrast to arrow for test.

I want this from you.

Player says you know you bring something to me that I live in because of this on them to bring something back to you as I said it's a give and take love but agape is different. Agape says I love you regardless.

Arrow says I love you as long as you're attractive when you cease to be attractive. I may not have much left. Folio says I love you because you're attractive and you bring something to me but agape says I love you no matter what you look like agape says I love you no matter how you behave. Folio says I love you if you treat me nicely and then I'll treat you nicely. Agape says even if you don't treat me nicely I'll still show kindness toward you, even if you've Lost that loving feeling all still love Greg Laurie insights on the different types of love and the importance of cultivating love in our marriages and there's more to come as this message continues here on the new beginning. It's a study called for words that can change your marriage yesterday were making available a great book by Dr. Tony Evans and actually all of his kids as well. It's called divine disruption talking about hope in spite of tragedy in crisis and loss.

That's right.

Is it fair to say that we are all either going through a crisis or we've gone through a crisis or are about to go through a crisis. Yeah, the person or says no crises here.

I need that book that's just foolish it is. Give it time. You know, as I've often said you're either going into a storm you're pulling out of one they enjoy those in-between times for sure. But you know here's a reality Dave in our times of crisis in the storms of life if you will. We learn things that we don't learn anywhere else. As I've said before, fruit does not grow on mountaintops, a grows in spiritual valleys subsequent to a valley right now a hardship if you lost a loved one recently are you yourself are suffering. This book is really going to be an encouragement to you because it's written in real time. This is some this is a book that is honest, it's heartfelt, it's candid, it's biblical.

It's hopeful it's it's encouraging so it can up fires in every cylinder. As you mentioned, written by Tony Evans and members of his family. In light of the loss of their wonderful mother and Tony's wife Lois Evans but but this is a book that just tells you how to deal with these issues, how to grapple with the because you know when we lose loved ones. As Christians we we mourn and we should mark. In fact, it's very important to mourn the Bible even says there's a time to laugh, and there's a time to mourn, but during that time of morning during those times of sorrow you come closer to the Lord Jesus said blessed or happy are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. It's almost as though you could translate that happy are the unhappy. I know that doesn't make sense.

But here's what it saying it causes you to turn to God and find the strength you need one little quote in the book that I love goes as follows. There is no better summary of a successful life.

Lois Evans serve the purposes of God in her generation. And then she fell asleep.

You know Dave, this phrase falling asleep is used in the Bible and it is only used of a believer dying never of a nonbeliever. And I think it's just a perfect picture because me think of falling asleep. That is not the worst thing that can happen.did you get older you start enjoying naps right and it's worth noting that when young Stephen was actually dying of violent death. The Bible says he fell asleep and I love this part with a right Lois serve the purposes of God in her generation. Look every one of us has a beginning, a middle and an end to our life. Here's the question how we can live that life we have nothing to do with the date of our birth really nothing to do with the data of our death but we have everything to do with that � in the middle. Lois Evans lived her life. Well she serve God's purposes in her generation. Raising amazing children that all love the Lord and are serving the Lord today.

Also there alongside Tony.

I know he misses her so deeply. But you're going to be blessed by this book. Is this going to help you as you go through your times of difficulty as well.

The title of the book is divine disruption. I will send you a copy for your gift of any size whatever you can send in return we will invest in this ministry so we can continue to bring a message of hope to people literally around the world. Yeah, that's right. When you give to us you're really giving through us. We take your investment and put it to work. Reaching those who need biblical hope and direction. Those who need to hear the gospel we hear from people every day who've had their lives impacted and changed through this outreach and you can have a part in helping a continue with your donation today. When you make that donation. Be sure to ask for this new book divine disruption. You can call us at 1-800-821-3300. That's 1-800-821-3300 and you can call anytime 24 seven or write a new beginning. Box 4000, Riverside, CA 92514 four. Go online to harvest time for the next time Pastor Greg comes back with more counsel for husbands and wives join us here on a new beginning.

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